
Total renunciation of sex is, in some faiths, a major discipline. In his
autobiography, Gandhi calls this brahmacharya and praises its power of
spiritual ennoblement. The Roman Catholic and Greek Orthodox churches, as well
as some eastern religions, require celibacy in certain holy orders. For such
austerity, Judaism has no match. The mild disciplines we do have, in this as in
every part of life, apply without distinction to all members of the
faith.
Jewish married couples follow an old rule of alternating
abstinence and enjoyment. During twelve days after the menses begin - or seven
days after they cease, whichever period is longer - wife and husband sleep
apart. For this reason twin beds have existed in Jewish homes as long as the
religion itself. The main practical result of this is that they rejoin at the
time when the wife is most likely to conceive. It is the exact opposite of the
rhythm system of birth control. For couples who love each other the separation
is a hardship, perhaps the one real hardship in the Hebrew disciplines. Some
medical authorities call this alternation good for the health of wife and
husband. One marriage manualist said it was "the only answer" to continuing
freshness in married love. Whatever the force of such opinion, this
self-governance in sex has always been part of marriage in the Jewish
faith.
The wife marks the end of the abstinence by immersion in a ritual
pool built on an ancient plan. This pool (the Hebrew word is mikva) has
been the usual place of the rite for many centuries. So crucial to the religion
did the Talmud deem this ceremony that it instructed impoverished communities to
sell their synagogue building, or even their last Holy Scroll, in order to put
up a pool.
The all, but general abandonment of the mikva in the
United States, followed by its gradual revival, is almost a history of American
Judaism in miniature. When the great migration brought crowds of Jews to these
shores around 1900, they found no ritual pools, and those that the pious at once
put up with scraped-together pennies were necessarily dismal and poor. By
contrast, any dwelling above the lowest slum line offered bath plumbing unknown
in European experience, or indeed in any previous time or place in the world,
excepting the baths of the rich in ancient Rome. It seemed odd to descend to the
gloomy squalor of the remote mikva for a rite of purity, when water was
at hand in the home, in the private luxury of a tub.
A rationale arose against observing the rite of the pool, which soon equaled in
popularity to the argument against the food laws that they were only for hot
countries in the old days. The purpose of the mikva was to make sure that women
in the old country bathed once a month. This argument could not survive any true
information about the rite, but the level of information had dropped low.
Abstinence from baths is in Judaism a sign of mourning. Frequent bathing, daily
if possible is assumed to be normal conduct. The rite of the pool, which takes a
few seconds, is wholly symbolic. In all the great religions, immersion has been
a symbol of purity and rebirth. The force of the notion is too clear to need
spelling out.
But alas for semantics in a time of transition! The King
James English word for a woman in separation was "unclean". In this sense all
Israel is "unclean"; we have been since the fall of the Temple. But for these
concepts there were no ready New World words. Young American women were annoyed
by the term: this, and the poverty of the mikvaos, worked up hostility to the
ancient practice. Pulpit declarations that children of women who omitted
immersion were all bastards did not soothe any unquiet spirits. Tub baths
replaced formal pool immersion for more and more couples. Since nearly all the
women bathed daily anyway, the gesture had no ceremonial force: and it had no
connection with Jewish law. The whole discipline of separation, which turned on
the vivid rite at the close, dwindled and was eventually dropped, in most
cases.
That it ever came back at all will seem astonishing, except to
those who know Jewish history and the power of the river of Judaism to run
uphill. In many cities of the United States new ritual pools have recently been
built or are going up, handsomely tiled, with something like beauty parlors in
their anterooms. The number of women who go to them is so far small compared to
those who do not. But the day is past when the mikva was for a fading trickle of
foreign ladies. The women who go are mostly young Americans.
As Judaism
revives generally - and that it is doing so is unmistakable, from the added
Hebrew in Reform and Conservative services to the mushrooming of temples and
synagogues all over the land - life and attention, I suppose, flow back to the
marriage discipline. Perhaps, too, the mikva has come to seem less strange as
people have realized that the Christian ceremonies of baptism and immersion are
evolved wholly out of our ancient Jewish rite. The analogy may offer a bridge to
Western-educated minds. At any rate, the hostility of the immigrant generation
has dimmed away. There is instead, at most, indifference usually based on a lack
of information. The information is not, oddly enough, easy to come by. Sex is a
great subject for jokes in America, and we have schooled ourselves, too, in
solemn faced swallowing of graphic lectures on its mechanical side, even in
popular magazines. But to talk about it naturally is another matter.
Excerpt from This is My God Doubleday & Co., Inc. Garden City. N.Y. Copyright 1959, 1970. By the Abe Wouk Foundation. Inc. Reprinted with permission The text of this essay and others are available in a brochure format from our Mikvah Mall
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