Thanks for writing. It's always good to hear good news, especially good news
in the family.
So, you're pregnant. Mazel Tov! I'm flattered to be asked and please, feel
free to call or write anytime for advice. You might not get any, but call
anyway. If I don't have any to give, I'll probably just make up something that
sounds good. If nothing else, I'll probably make you laugh a little, and
everybody knows that laughter is the best thing for babies in the tum-tum.
Actually, laughter is about the best thing I know for just about anything.
Anyway, all blessings for an easy pregnancy, with lots of cozy moments. One
piece of advice I'm sure about: Give in to being tired. It's always good to have
a good excuse to go to bed and now, finally, you can do it without feeling
guilty. You can go to bed and think to yourself: "I'm not doing this for me, I'm
doing this for the baby."
So, now that you're cozy, youll need good things to read. (Have you ever
tried a little daily dose of tehillim? Very soothing.) And, comfy blankets for
cold winter nights. I suggest a little incense or one of those little burner
things for essential smelly oils.
Of course none of this is for you. It's all for the unborn. So there is no
self-indulgence going on. Just good pre-parenting. Right? Right.
Now, for practical advice:
Don't: Look at anything ugly. Read about anything unpleasant. And leave heavy
social and political issues for others.
Do: Look out the window a lot, especially at clouds, new blooming trees and
flowers in spring time and the sun glistening off freshly fallen snow or ice
Music: Lots of it. Many times a day. And don't forget to sing. Singing is
essential. Do it anytime, but really go for it. Some people say you should pick
out a couple of your favorites and perfect them to the point that you can
imagine belting them out in your favorite nightclub (which you don't have and
would never do, but you get the point).
Prayer: Some people seem to think it helps. I'm one of them. He, as I'm sure
you know, plays quite a role in this whole conception, pregnancy, birth process
(some say He's a third partner in the deal), so I wouldn't ignore Him if I were
you. I'm told that He likes to be remembered, and remembers those who remember
In addition to some regular prayer times as prescribed by the Sages, I
recommend trying to keep an ever-present awareness of G-d in our life at all
times. You may even find yourself having some spontaneous sorts of conversations
with the Big Guy (but dont tell any one if you do, cause you dont want any men
in little white coats showing up at your door). In these conversations give
yourself permission to complain, if you feel like it, or even whine (but again,
keep it just between you and Him; you dont have to broadcast it anywhere). And
when you sincerely feel it, make sure to express your thankfulness to the Holy
One Above. You may find that when you think of Him, a smile comes over your
face, or even a giggle. And, well, there are just lots of moments to be had with
Mr. Ever-present if you're willing to be present with Him.
Anyway, I'm sure you have your own ways of dialoguing with the Divine. I'm
just here to remind you to do it as often as possible, formally or
You may want to have some holy objects about the house -- mezuzahs, pushkah
boxes, and holy books -- to serve as receptacles for any stray blessings
floating about needing something to attach themselves to.
I also happen to believe that what you do with your eyes during pregnancy
(what you look at) is directly communicated to Mr. or Miss Unborn; as are
sounds, and the vibrations of others. So stay around positive thinking people,
and definitely avoid anyone who is negative, or who fills you with worry or
anxiety. And, always follow your heart when it comes to the welfare of you and
the little one.
I promise you that all will go well. You will have easy, happy months ahead.
Your birth will be a breeze. And your baby will be healthy and beautiful. You
and your husband will have wonderful times ahead with all those marvelous
movements and sounds emerging. And the mutual caring between you and your
husband during these unbelievably special months will last forever and are a
preparation for what's to come. Don't be shy or hesitant to ask him for what you
need to be happier or more comfortable. Don't feel selfish about it. Remember:
it's all for the unborn. The whole thing of having children, as far as I'm
concerned, is selflessness. Learning to give. Learning that loving is giving.
So, why not start with the two of you? Then, when the unborn turns into the
baby, you'll both be used to leaving yourselves behind in order to be there for
each other and for him or her.
Learning to love and to give to each other is just another form of
Well, I gotta go now. I hope to hear from you. And if I dont, know that I'm
thinking of you, praying for you, and sending you, your hubby and the baby lots
All the best.