The Moon of My Night

The Moon of My Night

Dear Diary,
Wonderful news!

Do you remember a couple of weeks ago my friend  threw a "Good-Bye Party"?
Well, it didn’t actually feel like a party.
It was more like she was moving away and saying,
"DL, I think you’ll have to find yourself another friend,
because I just won’t be here anymore, so
good-bye and good luck".

I had enjoyed her friendship,
losing her made me feel kind of "down".
And very lonely.
It was in my loneliness and sadness, that I found my True Friend!

Actually, we are old acquaintances.
He knew me from the beginning of time
He was always there for me.
I had never realized, that He is my
BEST best Friend.

He is NEVER too busy for me.
I can call on Him day or night,
Rain or shine.
When things are looking up, He is there to rejoice with me.
When life feels sad, dark or lonely,
He is the moon of my night.
He cries with me, laughs with me.
He makes me feel better.
 
I learned that He likes it when I speak to Him.

I get "points" when I bless Him.
Extra points when I bless Him for the stuff that doesn't seem right,
Bonus points when I do anything for Him with joy.
He answers me in interesting ways.
Sometimes it doesn’t appear as though He  has heard me,
BUT -
I have a guarantee from Him.
And I trust Him.
He told me that He has opened an account for me,  a custodial
account.

He keeps depositing rewards for me, and when the right time comes they will be mine.
I get rewards deposited, when I perform His will,
Especially when it clashes with my will.
Knowing that I have this account,
Helps me to be a little bit kinder and more accepting.

I know that my account is growing when I bite my lip rather than
answer my insulter.
I know my account is expanding when I am patient, especially when I am
cranky. I hope to reach the level of doing out of love and awe and not for the rewards.
I look up, literally and figuratively, to my Benefactor when I'm feeling
down and He reminds me to smile.
He understands me.
He loves me,
Unconditionally. Even though it may seem like He gives me troubles, pain, punishment and I am suffering,
He told me He does everything out of love for me. All that He does is good for me.
And I believe Him.

Like when my three year-old asks me for another
lollipop and I do not allow, she pleads and argues.
I smile but
Still refuse, saying for her own good I will not give her another one.
She starts to cry.
Why can't she have it?
Because I love her too much.
In her eyes, I am mean and heartless.
The real truth, I am kind.
I am saving her teeth and preventing a sugar overdose.
She cannot comprehend that.
She needs to learn to trust me.
I understand her confusion.
When He gave me a gift that didn't "look" too pretty, He said, it's just the
wrapping, inside you will see what a treasure you have been given. She is our "special child".
(I think of my account when I take care of her).

Special things come from high sources, and in descent to the world may
manifest in the form of suffering.
He helped me become aware of His great love for me, a love that is expressed
by, "running me through the washing machine".
The more I'm put through the wringer, my account swells.
I look up and wink at Him.
(Are the stars, Him winking back?)
I call Him,
Avi,
My Father.
We call Him,
Avinu Malkeinu
Our Father, Our King.
Can you beat having such a Friend??
Now when I am asked if I am alive, I can confidently answer,
"I am truly alive"
For I have acquired  a REAL Friend for myself.
My Father, Our King.
My other friend has moved away
But I know she will rejoice in  the discovery of this true Friend.
Oh, dear Diary,
Life is good.
Over and out -
me-DL


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