We have never attended a couple's retreat. We do not have a therapist. We have
never had a his & hers spa day. We've never even watched an episode of "Dr.
Our marriage is happy, bright, lively and fun. The secret is simple and
can be summed up in two words "Sweet Potato!"
The problem is, I can't explain what that means to you. Even if I did,
you would get very confused and say, "Uh-huh."
And that, my friends, is the secret of my happy marriage - that it's a
We constantly carry with us an invisible tin-can and string set. I
can hold one end and toss him the other instantly with complete discretion.
When I have something urgent to tell him, something funny that just can't wait,
or if I just need refuge in a crowd, he is always at the other end, listening.
Our secret language is private, safe and always reliable.
My husband and I speak our own language comprised of silly things we've
said to one another, references to things we've done or seen together and more
than a few words we've made up. If you heard it, you wouldn't understand, you
might not even notice it was being spoken. In our language, we can make each
other laugh when we least expect it, but need it most. We communicate in
complete privacy, regardless of our company. Wherever we are, whatever we're
doing, we can always be alone together. Regardless of who is around us, there
is nothing between us - we are a singular, separate unit.
In Bereishis (Genesis) it is said, "Man will leave his father's
house, cleave unto his wife and they will become one flesh." The simple
explanation indicates the physical act of marriage, but the flesh is the
casing. Contained in the body are the mind and the soul. The reminder that we
are one body can only happen at certain times and behind closed doors, but we
are forever able to draw upon our singular mind and soul. Across the room,
across the table, at the other end of the phone line, my soul thrills in the
knowledge that it is not alone, dancing with joy and laughter to the tune of its
holy connection to my bashert (destiny). It is a connection so
complicated, but pure that it could only have been made in Heaven.