Mikvah and Me

Mikvah and Me

My husband and I had alot of issues committing to marriage. We had cancelled one wedding and no one could understand why we were still together. Finally setting another date, the week before I was due to go to the mikvah arrived and found me doubting whether I could go through with it all over again.

We had been down a terrible road the previous time (the week before the last wedding) and at that time I had decided to not go to the mikvah because I was too upset about the issues between us. I was so focused on 'fixing' the problems before the wedding day that I ignored the role Hashem plays in our lives.

This time, nothing was going to get in my way. And boy did I have many tests that day!!! My best friend had to cancel coming with me for moral support (as my mom is handicapped) due to a crisis on her side and I was feeling really alone and scared... I was devastated. The only person I could think of calling for help was my husband's sister. Now, I had previously had issues with his family (especially having cancelled one wedding) and ordinarily there was no way I could share something this intimate with someone I was nervous around.

However, there I was sharing this totally private and intimate event and that has, more than anything else (including the wedding itself) made me feel more connected to his family than a name could ever do. Family shares these moments and it was then that I realised that his family was to be connected to me in ways even I couldn't understand and appreciate. She comforted me and gave me the stregnth to go when I probably wouldn't have gone (given the circumstances).

I will never forget that day. I was shaking by the time I immersed but being a bride, I took my time to pray (like I have never been able to before). I prayed for all my friends and family (old and new) with more emotion and love than I can even explain in writing. I was told that a bride is renewed at this mikvah immersion and all her past trangressions are washed away. I understand this to be true even though my physical self has problems letting go.

The best part was that my sister-in-law was waiting outside after my immersion with a big smile on her face (and a l'chaim) and the mikvah now connects not only my husband and me to Hashem, but my whole family........


The content of this page is produced by mikvah.org and is copyrighted by the author, publisher or mikvah.org. You may distribute it provided you comply with our copyright policy.