Supporting Friends and Family on Fertility Journeys with Sensitivity

Supporting Friends and Family on Fertility Journeys with Sensitivity

How to support friends and family on their fertility journeys, with sensitivity.


1. Treat us like anyone else. We know you don't know the depths of this challenge; we know you can’t fix it, and we don’t expect you to. We value you and your friendship.

2. We have most likely heard of that miracle Segula. If you think it can help, please do it in our Zechus.

3. Rather than assuming what someone would like or appreciate, give a few specific choices and let them decide. “I can make supper for you, take you out for coffee, go for a walk with you, send magazines for Shabbos, etc. What would you prefer?”

4. When showing you care, it’s best to send open-ended messages of support that don’t need responses: a love emoji or “thinking of you,” rather than “how are you?”

5. Most people choose a confidante that is not a relative. Family members, please understand, and don’t take it personally.

6. There’s more to People than their fertility challenges. Find common ground with us that centers around shared interests and goals.

7. Please don’t assume. We also have sleepless nights, busy days, and not enough money… This process is difficult and expensive.

8. Please don’t pry. If you are not part of our medical team, do not ask any questions. Please don’t offer advice. Bonei Olam makes sure we are getting the best advice possible.

9. Even cutting-edge procedures don’t always work.

10. Wish us well, offer compassion, but please don’t promise.

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